I just realized that I haven’t posted anything on this blog site lately and thought ,”Well, a lot has happened since the last time I posted…What is burning in me tonight that I can post?
The song by Simon & Garfunkel “Feelin’ Groovy” was playing somewhere on someone’s speaker this week and it got stored in my brain. When I first came to Messiah as a repentant college student, it was a mighty transformation in my attitude, my demeanor, my focus, and my walk (behavior) So much so, that I would have to describe it as like “falling in love” for the first time.
One morning in 1972, in Zweibrucken, Germany, I was walking down a cobblestone street (like in “Feelin Groovy”). It was a beautiful day! Every sound was magnified, every bird sang just for me, every flower was there for my enjoyment, and the sun was warming me because God created it for just that. I had read some words in a Book that changed my life and my step was lighter and my smile was hard to contain. The part of Germany where I lived at the time can be quite overcast and gloomy, but I didn’t know it because I had the light of Messiah dawning in my heart. He was awakening every spiritual desire I had to know Him more.
I would have to describe my early spiritual quest as a quest for holiness. I craved it. But I just couldn’t attain it! I sinned against God and against myself and against my family, again and again. I even considered becoming a nun and joining a convent (even though I wasn’t Catholic).That was a trivial detail compared to the overriding desire I had to know Him in some way that was more than just “knowing about Him”.
I used to quote two poems that were very short to describe what my spiritual quest was like. The first is a Robert Frost poem (I think) and it simply goes like this:
We all sit in a circle and guess…But the secret sits in the middle and knows.
The other one was,
All the days of my life, my heart has followed something that I can not name.
After my Jesus encounter, I had such an amazing transformation in my spirit, soul, and mind, that I had to tell everyone that was part of my life. I actually had just met someone that I thought was going to be “the ONE”. It actually turned out he wasn’t “the ONE”, but that’s okay. I told him about Jesus. Funny. I had fallen in love before I fell in love with the One who loved me with an everlasting love. My human love was eclipsed by that love.
Then I told my old friends at the Officer’s Club, where I had worked as a waitress. One guy was an Italian guy and I saw the look in his eye. He did not know what to make of me. He probably saw me as a crazed religious nut, (who knows with these Amercans?) but that’s okay. I was in love!
I also told the Chaplain who was then chaplain of the post Chapel…Chaplain Lucky was his name. I had to go tell him in person. I just couldn’t wait to tell him! I walked to his office and asked if he had time to talk with me. He said “yes”, and I sat down… I was so excited and I know he thought “She’s engaged, and she wants to share this with me!” He waited for me a little and then said, “What’s on your mind, Ginny?” I gleamed and grinned from ear to ear and busted out with, “I FOUND Him!” He said, “Who?” I said, “Jesus!” I don’t even remember what he said, but I just felt I HAD to tell him. I felt a kinship with him because he would preach Jesus from the pulpit even though the army wanted him to be generic in his sermons. I know I thanked him for preaching about Jesus and told him he had been part of what God was doing in me.
After that, I told everyone that crossed my path. Some of these people were former students i went to school with at the University of Maryland at the Zwiebrucken campus. Some of them, I remember, were still walking in darkness. I felt that darkness and that hopelessness. I prayed they’d see Jesus in me.
Lot’s of people fall in love. Some fall out of love. Some fall out of love and never fall in love again. Some people have to regain their love for their husband or wife. Maybe they have to go to counseling or something like that.
Do I still love Jesus like I loved Him the first day His glory filled my soul? Yes. Is He still “happening” to me? Yes He is. Jesus I still love you. Be forever the LOVER OF MY SOUL. You are the ONE WHOM MY SOUL LOVES. Amen